Friday, July 31, 2009
Johnny takes a quick look at games that feature men of the muscular persuasion; first there's Pit-Fighter, Atari's arcade classic from 1990 which used the then-impressive digitized graphics of musclebears, beefcake models, biker bears, and men in tight gear aplenty in a bare-chested brawling. Could anything be more heterosexual? Then we move to Altered Beast, the Genesis launch title that devotes itself to getting your big muscleman as pumped as possible before donning his were-whatever fursuit. Then Johnny takes on reviewing a hard to find Japanese PC release, Ie, Tatemasu! by Underground Campaign. As you can tell from the screenshots, this is unlike anything he's looked at before: it's a hardcore construction simulator. Keeping in mind load bearing pillars, wood density, and Tokyo Building Code, you must create a house within a strict time limit, while maintaining very, very, very close relations to your coworkers. Very close. Things get sticky, and you're up against a wall against the mounting pressure of time limits and budget overflows, but still worth playing. Repeatedly. 30 seconds to five minutes at a time. To wrap it all up, there's Punch Out!!, a game Johnny's so incredibly bad at that words fail to describe it. Oh, yes, there's also big bears, musclemen, and a possible appearance of the hanky code on Bear Hugger.