Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Bears In Games Episode 4 - Fable II

Yes, even in the mystical land of Albion, gays can get gay married. And, as Johnny finds out after some loutish behavior, gay divorced. While the menfolk populating the land might not be very attractive, that doesn't mean that you can't have some passive-aggressive relationships with them. Watch as Johnny shows you just how awkward virtual relationships can get, gaining through pie eating, and the most disappointing love scenes since Mass Effect. No, not even side boob in this one.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Bears In Games Episode 3 - Soul Calibur IV

Just how bearish can a 3D fighting game get? This week in Bears in Games, Johnny takes a look at the custom characters you can whip up in this pretty awesome fighting game. Pro tip: use female character fighting styles to give your bears a slightly creepy seductive edge. Also, some ruminating on Rock, and teaching an XBox Live jerk a lesson.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Bears in Games Episode 2 - Final Fight

Final Fight: 2D Brawler or Barely Subtextual Stew of Simmering Homoeroticism? Seriously. Johnny compares and contrasts some of the tamer works of Tom of Finland with the archetypal hypermasculine denizens of Capcom's 80s fighting game. What do we learn? Final Fight was supposed to be Street Fighter II. Haggar was based on Jesse "The Body" Ventura, former Minnesotan Governor, and Johnny has an unhealthy interest in rejected village person Edi E. Also: just how does the continue animation look slightly removed from context?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Bears In Games Episode 1 - Saints Row 2

In this episode, Bears In Games takes a look at the create-a-character mode within Saints Row 2. Its pretty powerful, one of the best out there, right up with Tiger Woods Golf and that WCW game for the Nintendo 64. You can pretty easily make anyone you know, your dream man, boyfriend, whatever, and then put them smack dab in the middle of the best GTA clone since The Getaway.